Family Breakdown

Times are changing fast and it may sometimes feel like the world is spinning out of control. Parents of all ages have claimed the troubles of “kids these days”. Some have claimed that “these are the worst of times”. People have likely said these things for centuries, but let’s look at some of the changes, and consider some possible shortcomings in our adaptation.

I have written about being selective of who you spend your time and attention with. I even told a story of severing negative family ties. Of course, this is not to be the standard. Family is a precious resource that is very often neglected and taken for granted. I also wrote of inviting family into your cheering section and winning them over. This is preferred, whenever it is possible.

Necessity or Negligence?

I am not the first person that you have found expressing a concern of family values. Deterioration of families is a widespread epidemic that is often very pronounced in Western culture. As people found more things that they “needed” such as color television, air conditioning, and two automobiles, that feeling of need grew greater. Those “needs” of yesteryear sprung into demands for larger homes, fancier cars, cellular phones for each child over the age of seven, and a lifestyle that every neighbor would envy. The rat race was on, and the forces of peer pressure took men and women by the nose and led them away from their families.

I am not only addressing Western society, so do not mistake this. The closeness of families is a worldwide concern, and the epidemic is spreading. When people drift away from families, they also drift away from much of the positive nurturing that only a family can provide.

I have witnessed cultures from all around the world, and the precious demand for more hours in the day is not exclusive to any nation. More than anywhere else, I find that many of the swift changes in American society have fallen tragically short of the joys that were expected by the changes. We have thrown ourselves into so many changes that our adaptations have often been made in haste.

Consider this common acceptance of cultural failure in the past couple decades, and question whether it is based on necessity or negligence. As families accepted both parents working, daycares and schools were left to raise the kids. As parents took second and third jobs, the family suffered further demise. Kids are often left to raise themselves, and each other. I see this every day, even in my insulated upper-middle-class cocoon. Kids are off on their own, or in groups of other kids who may or may not be a good influence. That influence often goes unmonitored while parents’ communication is limited to the time they wake up and the time they go to bed, perhaps with a few text messages in between. I am not saying that this is the standard. I will say, however, that it is prevalent enough to warrant parents’ attention. As a chorus, we all say “not my kid”, but just remember that it is somebody’s kid who will bring a gun to school or teach your kids to use drugs. Their parents probably do not expect it either.

As the work-related pressures add up, parents communicate less, kids become more troubled, and the family breaks down. Before you know it, they give it all up for divorce and try over with a whole new dynamic. Does any of this sound familiar?

In such a self-indulgent society, we do what feels good for the moment and then we expect our children to learn from that example. When it all comes undone and it is too late to take it back and start over, we just hope that our kids will do better than we did.

Stop it! You do better, and you teach them right. Now is the best time to set a legacy into action. If you do not provide the best example now, then you really have neglected your family. Family should never be subjected to living here and now and doing what feels good for the moment, without weighing it in favor of what is best in the future. This kind of neglect is far too popular, and it is usually bred of despair. Family is the genesis of all society. We all come from somewhere, and we learn most of our best and worst lessons as a result of how we were raised within our family. If you worry for society, be mindful that it starts with the responsibility and dedication of each family.

Whether you are the kid in this scenario, a spouse, a grandparent, or just a curious onlooker, I hope you will share your time and share support to prevent the breakdown. If you feel that you have already been sucked into this tornado-like storm, please take the care to remember the things that once made your family happy and positive about your future. Make a commitment to needed adjustments to prevent the breakdown. Sometimes dedication to an old standard of sitting together for dinner is enough to improve the dialogue within a family. It sounds so simple, but yet it is one of the first things to blow away in the storm.

Take the time to express yourself, and do not wait another day!

Living in the Storm is Available for Order!

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