My grandmother stands out as a happy waiter. She didn’t have much but gave it all away, and somehow found out how to give away more. She was a like a pure center of distribution who kept very little for herself. We always had about 15 bags of Christmas presents; I have no clue where she got them from. She never came to the house empty handed. You just couldn’t measure the woman’s heart.

She had a very tough life but you’d never know it from her attitude. She knew the secret to happiness: give, give, and give some more. Until the end she volunteered at a soup kitchen and hospital.

Blessed are those, who really can realize the “happy waiter” attitude for themselves. Easy to make judgement though, if someone isn’t in that place. A happy waiter wouldn’t do that.

Question of judgement of “false and happy” or “genuine and grumpy”: here is my take on it:

Nobody wants to burden other people. (For certain reasons, not “superficial moral” alone)

So if someone is really happy giving, it is easier to receive with grace. If one thinks, another person is doing it from obligation, or for “hidden agenda” that is different.

Genuine happiness, that is innocence, and “receivers” don’t have to fear any coercion from that. That is why this is an issue, I believe.

So, if someone is saying “I don’t believe that you are really genuine in being happy to serve” what they mean is: I don’t want to be a burden, because I am afraid to loose my humanity, freedom, lots of stuff. And there is experience behind that!

I hope that makes it easier to see the “cynic” not so much as a different kind of being, but as a certain set of experiences, and people trying to take care of their needs…. So, in a “cynical” attitude, I really don’t hear “genuineness”, but the genuine part is really “behind”, what they are saying. They are saying “I am afraid, because…”

And to summarize all that, I cannot say, that I am a happy waiter 24/7. I sure want to be, because it is a happy place to be in, but knowing “all the other stuff”,
I also recognize, that “to receive with grace might be the greatest giving” as I heard Marshall Rosenberg sing.

So, any request, that I would make, i would attach a label to it, which says: “Only do, as I request, if you can do it, with the attitude of a little child, feeding a hungry duck”. (~Marshall Rosenberg)

That is the happy waiter, that I want to be, and I want to see.

It is those moments when you give of yourself, when you take the time to do something for someone else and expect nothing in return, that you do reap the greatest rewards in life.

Thank you Mark for sharing this excerpt. I look forward to Living in the Storm!